Starting a Diet before Thanksgiving...

Talk about setting yourself up for utter failure. Why would any human start a diet before the greatest feast of all time. 6 words....Naked in front of a mirror! Yeah, I know...too much information, but let's get real....do we wait to gain weight before we decide to take it off. I figure if I choose to diet before turkey day, then I will stay committed--you don't give up Thanksgiving Dinner just for anything...and when January rolls around and I want to eat a pound of bacon drenched in brown sugar, all wrapped around a little smokie I will remember that little sacrifice in November and stay the course of this wonder diet that will take me back to my high school weight.

I just want to know what diet will remove the stretch marks that I was blessed with. I look like I was attacked by a tiger. I guess I was...3 of them...and I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm not going to post what diet Jer and I are trying (yes, Jeremy too!) until we're sure it's a good one. I don't diet--never have tried any of those out there...have been tempted, but none of them let me eat. I like to eat. Is that some sort of crime?

And by the way, I hate to exercise. Yeah, I said it. The college athlete that hates to exercise. Let me tell you something about college athletes. There are those that are athletic, but aren't that good--that's because they like to exercise, but they don't have that fierce competitive instinct. Now me, I happened to be athletic BECAUSE I was a maniac when it came to losing. When my college volleyball and track career ended--when the competition was beat to a pulp, I walked away from the gym satisfied. Satisfied with my degree, and satisfied that I put a whoopin' on some folks.

My next endeavor was to find some hot guy and talk him in to marrying me. Who knew that would be so hard. I finally had to pray...yep, pray cuz my athletic body came with that competitive spirit that mostly just scared the dookie out of most fella's. You can't compete with a woman who drools just waiting for some competition. The Lord knew that the man I wasn't looking for was the one I needed. Someone who wouldn't compete, but would love me and cherish me, not fight me. Good luck finding a guy like that who isn't a wuss. Hence, the praying.

And let me clarify that whole praying statement. I did not pray that the Lord give me this wonderful guy that would be a hottie, and be my perfect compliment...that's what I hoped. I prayed that God would do a work in me so that His choice for me would recognize me when he saw me. HEAR THIS--without DIVINE INTERVENTION Jeremy would have ran for the hills when I came around. I think it's God's Hand on this marriage that keeps Jer out of the hills everyday...it's either that or my cooking--which J-Mo loves. Whatever it is, I'm thankful that he's such a great "half".

Now we are going on this diet together so that our halfs don't go all lopsided. If this diet works at all, and I don't feel like I'm on the 5th ring of Hell trying to stay on it, I will pass it on. Don't worry, I'll be prayin' about this one too. All God's angel's will be busy pulling thoughts of chocolate cake, and biscuits and gravy, and bacon and eggs, and Big Mac's and.....(see what I mean) out of my head. You guys better just stay in your house and not leave. They will be busy for about 6 weeks. That's the amount of time I'm gonna give this booger. It don't work by then, it isn't working.

My last thought is this. For anything you need, the Bible says "by prayer and petition, bring your requests before God.." Well, I'll be praying and petitting....you should too.